culled from:businessinsider.com
I often receive business/collaboration proposals and pitches for PE.
Many of them end up in the “Archive” folder. Only a handful gets my attention, and for those that do, it’s usually due to (a) a match in business needs and (b) good pitching skills.
Today, I want to share five common mistakes to avoid when writing business proposals, or any pitch for that matter. While my recommendations are subjective, they are based on my experience receiving AND writing collaboration proposals and pitches for the past years of running my business. Take whatever advice you think is relevant to you.
Each mistake comes with recommendations to fix it. I’ve also included screen captures of good/bad pitches which people have sent to me before as a way of illustrating my points.
If your mail happens to be featured here as a bad case study, please take it as constructive feedback. Apply the lessons to your next pitch and who knows? You might land more gigs, sooner than you think.
Knock yourself out. 😀 And please share this article via Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc. if you find it useful and want more of such stuff in the future. Thanks—your support keeps me going. 🙂
Mistake #1: Failing to get to the point (within the first few seconds)
I have lost count of email that goes, “Firstly, I want to tell you…” which stretches on for one full paragraph and has absolutely nothing to do with the sender’s reason for writing the mail.
It is usually followed by a two to three paragraph spiel about how excited the sender is about the idea he/she is going to present to me (or how exciting said idea is), but still doesn’t say anything about the idea.
What follows are five to six paragraphs of text, where the person finally gets to why he/she is writing. By then, my interest has already waned and I’m almost ready to hit the “Archive” button.
When you write your pitch, you want to get right to the point. It’s okay to open up with a simple “Hi X, I hope you are doing great!” or “First off, I just want to let you know I love your work!”; it’s not okay to ramble on and on and go completely off tangent. By then you would have lost your prospect’s attention and your mail is probably in the trash.
Leave social talk for social mail. Don’t beat about the bush. When it comes to a business email/proposal/pitch, you are expected to be sharp and to cut right to the chase.
Here’s an example of a well-written invite I just received this month:
Notice how the sender cut right to the chase at the onset. Within the first three paragraphs, I have already learned: (a) Who the sender is and what she does, (b) why she is writing to me, (c) what she would like me to do. While the mail went on for another five paragraphs, it’s fine as those are supplementary information about the event. This is information which I want to read, since she has successfully stirred my interest.
